


We Could Have Been

by SupercorpSanvers_fangirl33



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex needs a hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Broken hearted Alex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Multiverse, Sam is an awesome friend, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 05:33:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13606602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupercorpSanvers_fangirl33/pseuds/SupercorpSanvers_fangirl33
Summary: Broken and hurt by Purity’s words Alex makes a decision to do something that could get her in a lot of trouble and possibly ruin her life forever. WARNING ANGST AHEAD!!OrAlex goes to a different universe where she and Maggie never broke up and gains more than she bargained for.





	We Could Have Been

Alex did her best to look as invisible as possible in her office at the DEO, the only people still around were her and a few other agents since everyone else had gone to Kara and Lena’s place for game night. She looked around to make sure the other agents weren’t looking at her before she grabbed a black backpack from under her desk and slung it onto her shoulder as she stood and left the office. She was almost to the women’s locker room when a voice stopped her.

“Agent Danvers?”

Letting out a breath realizing it was just one of the newest agents she turned to face the woman. The other woman was younger than her maybe 22 at the oldest with red hair, freckles and a lean build, Alex had seen her working with Winn now and again at the computers.

“Yes Miss Burk right?”

The girl nodded with a smile before she forced it away.

“I was wondering if I could have clearance to the Medbay, we want to check the sunbeds and my badge doesn’t work yet.”

Alex inwardly chuckled, she didn’t miss the days her new badge only gave her clearance to the locker room and her office, before walking back to the Medbay and entering a few numbers on the wall keypad.

“There now you’ll be able to come and go for the next hour, if your going to be longer than that just push the blue key, if you get done before the hour is up close the door and push the red button twice.”

The younger woman nodded with a smile.

“Thank you agent.”

Alex let herself smile before watching the younger woman walk into the Medbay. Once the door closed she made a beeline for the locker room and quickly locked the door behind her before she took off the back pack pulling out the contents. First was a plain grey jacket, next a pair of low top white Chuck Taylor’s, and finally Kara’s Multiverse device. Holding the device in her hands she closed her eyes, she had been studying the device since Kara returned with it from helping Barry on another world and it didn’t take long for her to find an index of most of the known earths. She’d studied most of them through the little hologram window that offered a glimpse of each but tonight was different, tonight she was going to venture to one of the earths.

Setting the device down Alex opened her eyes and quickly changed from her boots into the shoes and pulled on the jacket making sure the hood was drawn to hide her face before she zipped her bag and pulled it back on. Looking at her watch she took a deep breath and typed in the coordinates for she earth she wanted before opening a portal and stepping through. She landed on shaky feet, it was a harder landing without Kara there to float her down, in an alley across a fairly busy street. Making sure her hood was still in place Alex readjusted her backpack and ducked her head as she ventured out of the alley. 

She had no real idea where to go but a feeling was pulling her to the park across the street. She easily recognized it as the park in the center of National City just down the street from the NCPD. She walked the familiar jogging path for awhile until a voice caught her ear making her duck behind a tree and peek around.

“Come on Danvers! Don’t tell me your getting tired already!”

Alex felt her heart ache as her eyes found this earth’s version of Maggie. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, she wore a deep purple workout bra, a pair of grey sweat bands on her wrists, light ankle weights, well worn tennis shoes, black jogging shorts, and a hair of jogging earbuds. She was jogging in pace with a light sheen of sweat on her brow but she was smiling that dimple popping smile as her brown eyes looked behind her down the trail. Alex followed her eyes and found this earth’s version of herself. She was dressed in a black tank top, grey joggers, dark purple Vans, a pair of ankle weights and a watch with a miles tracker, her hair was slightly longer than Alex’s own to the point it was brushing her shoulders and he rbangs were held back by a navy headband, her neck and face were tinted pink and sweat cling to her brow as she stood with her hands on her knees panting a bit.

“In your dreams Sawyer, I’m just,”

A pause to take a deep breath.

“Just taking a break.”

Maggie laughed the musical sound that put a knife right through Alex’s chest before walking to Alex2 (so we can tell them apart) and putting a hand on her back rubbing soothing circles where her lungs would be.

“Let’s take a break, we’ve done our five miles.”

Alex2 looked at her watch before straightening up gladly taking the water bottle Maggie offered her.

“Actually we’ve only gone 4.5 miles, we won’t have made all 5 until we get back to the apartment.”

Maggie rolled her eyes as Alex2 took a drink from the bottle then handed it back smiling.

“Technicalities Danvers. Let’s call it a day, grab some ice cream and head home I need a shower.”

They both smiled and laughed as Maggie wrapped her arm around Alex2 making the other woman scrunch up her nose playfully.

“I’ll say you do, you smell.”

Maggie faked offense placing her free hand on her heart fighting a smile.

“How dare you Danvers? I think you broke my heart by offending my post workout smell!”

They both laughed again as they started walking arms around each other. Alex hid behind the tree more as the couple passed her tree before biting her lip. She’d seen the silver bands on the two women’s fingers and even though it made her chest hurt she knew what it meant. Waiting for the couple to get a good distance from her she began to follow them keeping well out of Alex2’s field of vision so as not to alert them. She followed them to the ice cream cart then to a shady stone bench under tall oak trees where they sat and talked for awhile before leaving again. She followed as far as she could which ended up being the entrance of what looked like her own apartment building.

Her heart felt like it was dying as she watched from across the street as Alex2 and Maggie laughed teasing each other as they entered the building and shared a kiss as the door closed. As if even this universe knew her mood a low rumble of thunder sounded in the skies above before it began to rain making people hurry for shelter running past Alex as she walked back to her alley she’d emerged from. She was thankful for the rain it hid her tears as she typed in the coordinates to take her back home. Even though her heart felt like it was bleeding and ripped apart she was glad she came, glad she’d caught a glimpse of the kind of life she and Maggie could have had if things had been different.

Stepping back through the portal Alex took a moment to regain herself before she realized she wasn’t alone in the locker room as she felt eyes on her back. She didn’t turn to see who it was as she shed her backpack and jacket.

“Go ahead and say it Kara, it was risky to do that I could have gotten stuck or hurt or seen but I didn’t I was careful and nobody saw me and I didn’t start any trouble.”

As she spoke Alex kept her back turned to hide her tears but when she didn’t get a response from who she assumed was her sister come to find her when she hadn’t shown up to game night she peeled over her shoulder and felt her heart speed up. Some kind of hope of Maggie having come to the DEO was shattered as she found herself meeting Sam’s eyes.

“Sam? Why are you here?”

The other woman gave a small smile walking over with a towel that she draped over Alex’s head and began drying her hair.

“Kara sent me, she was in the middle of beating Winn at Mario Kart but she was worried about you so I volunteered to come and force you to leave but it looks like you already did.”

Alex didn’t say anything or push Sam away as the other brunette finished with her hair and pulled the towle away giving a kind smile.

“It’s my of my business but your eyes are heart broken. What happened?”

Alex dropped her eyes to the floor trying to will her emotions down but it wasn’t working, there were holes in her shield from seeing that version of herself happy and in love with Maggie in a life she could have had, so she let the tears fall, let Sam pull her into a hug, and let herself cry into her friend’s shoulder as she broke down. After a few minutes of crying and soft comforts from Sam Alex was finally able to speak as she curled her fingers in the back of Sam’s blouse.

“I went to a different earth, a different universe, and I found that earth’s version of myself and Maggie. They were married and happy and still in love and I thought it would help me get over her but it didn’t! It made it worse! I was such an idiot thinking I’d be able to get over her by doing this!”

Sam made gentle shushing sounds as she stroked Alex’s hair until the new waves of sobs turned into sniffles and the agents grip on her blouse wasn’t so tight.

“Come on let’s get you home, I think after that you need a hot bath and some sleep, how did you get here?”

Alex let herself be removed from Sam’s arms and let the other woman take her hand to lead her out of the locker room.

“I walked, my place is a block away.”

Sam nodded and squeezed her hand before walking them out of the building. The walk back to Alex’s apartment was silent and Alex was thankful for it as they reached her door. Sam gave a soft smile and kissed her forehead.

“You get some rest, I’ll handle your sister.”

Alex managed a faint smile and nod as Sam stepped away waving before she left. Alex took a deep breath and entered her apartment and looked around. Even without Maggie’s things there was still an air around the space that constituted the detective had once been there and it made Alex take a shutters breath as she walked to the kitchen counter and picked up the paper laying atop the mail and looked it over. It was a paper telling her that the lease on the apartment would be up soon so if she wanted to stay she’d have to send in her signature and a payment or just her signature if she was moving out. She’d contemplated moving out, moving away from the memories of Maggie that lingered in the rooms like a ghost and move into Kara’s apartment since the blonde was now living with Lena, but at the same time she didn’t want to leave because of those memories.

Letting out a shaky sigh she put the paper down and headed for the bathroom. After a scalding hot shower and dressing in a pot of sleep shorts and at tank top Alex lingered in her bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the picture of her and Maggie she hid in the bedside drawer as sad jazz music played in the background. A knock on the door broke her from her tearful trip into her memories making her quickly hide the picture and wipe her eyes as she went to the door. As she unlocked it she expected Kara looking windswept from flying over despite Sam telling her not to but as she opened the door Alex felt her heart stop beating and her lungs seize up mid breath. Standing on her doormat in a pair of dark jeans, a grey t-shirt, leather jacket, espresso brown hair hanging over her shoulders in loose curls, her brown eyes locked on her own, and holding a bouquet of white carnations, yellow and white roses and a few daisies was Maggie.

The detective gave a shaky smile holding out the flowers.

“H-hey Danvers can we talk?”


End file.
